Dr-Worm

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"Like I said in my not-hit movie Cruise Boat, 'I'm gettin' too old for this ship!'" -Tracy Jordan

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Dr-Worm

The Definitive, Objective, Indisputable "Answer" to the Console War: Please Stop the Fighting :'(

Posted by Dr-Worm Apr. 16, 2008 @ 4:53 PM EDT

NOTE: This does not determine which console is "best." That is a stupid argument to make, because it will always be based purely on opinion and personal preference. It only answers the "console war," which is an equally stupid argument because you can't argue with facts, as will be evidenced by the following...

I thought I would repost what I said on a console war thread here, in hopes that I may stop yet another retarded fanboy argument. Ehem, here we go, the indisputable FACTS about a number of factors and logical predictions based on said FACTS. Enjoy:

"Sales: The centerpiece of the "console war." All other factors are essentially just another means to this end. Obviously, whoever has the most sales at the end of the generation wins the "console war." No ifs, ands, or buts. You can make whatever excuses you want ("but that's just because it's cheaper!"), but them's the rules of business.

This is, since we're somewhat early into this generation, obviously the category most likely to fluctuate. That being said, the current standings (and noticeable probable trends) are:

1. Nintendo
While Sony does get some major golf claps for putting up a good fight, Nintendo is still THE dominant force in portable gaming. In addition, the Wii is outselling both other home consoles, and it's only gaining more momentum as time goes on. Unless there's a sudden overnight worldwide disillusionment with the fancy motion controls and casual gameplay, it's looking like this is Nintendo's generation to win.

2. Microsoft
Some might argue that its year head-start explains some of its high sales. Well, yeah, probably, but you can't really hold that against it. Thanks to somewhat ugly system failure numbers (for the record, my 360 still works fine) among other things, the sales momentum of the Xbox cooled down, though I think you'll see a boost back up for it (and probably PS3 as well) when GTA IV comes out.

3. Sony
Hubris. Sony's tragic flaw in this generation. They (and lots of other people, for that matter) believed that the PlayStation brand name alone would drive people to spend $600 (the price has since been lowered) on a video game console. They were wrong. The PS3 is now in a distant third. It's certainly not too late to catch up, but Sony has a lot of ground to cover.

First-Party Tentpoles: Ever since the Princess started being in another castle, console manufacturers realized that singular games could sell systems. When the competition started to branch out, soon every company was scrambling to get in-house developers to make the next worldwide sensation. Now, I'm going to be completely objective here. These rankings are based on number of tentpoles, strength in sales, and (slightly open to interpretation) effect on the pop cultural landscape. Trust me, I hate Halo just as much as you do.

1. Tie: Nintendo/Microsoft
No company does first-party quite like Nintendo, and already, the Wii has shown an impressive amount of sales power and quantity in its tentpole lineup (fanboy note: they're also fucking masterpieces). The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Galaxy, and, perhaps even more so than the other two combined, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, are not simply games to their fans: they're cultural events. Which brings us to Microsoft.

Only two words are needed: Halo 3. Love it or hate it, nothing in the history of video games has blown as massive a crater in mainstream pop culture. In its opening weekend, it sold more copies than any Hollywood movie sold tickets, something they were quick to acknowledge in placing the blame for their poor box office receipts. The media coverage was massive. They even made a special brand of Mountain Dew in honor of the game. For a console manufacturer, it simply cannot get any better than this. Halo 3 sold 360's by the bucketload.

2. Sony
Sony tried something different at the beginning of this generation, which was to try out brand new concepts and franchises instead of leaning on the old and reliable. A very commendable effort, but ultimately one that didn't bode too well for Sony. Games like Resistance and Uncharted sold well, but they can hardly be considered "tentpoles." So far, the only classic franchise to make an appearance on the PS3 in a big way is Ratchet and Clank. What it lacks in high quantity in the present, though, Sony might be able to make up for in potential, with numerous PS3 incarnations of Sony franchises probably being made at this moment, such as the inevitable God of War III.

Exclusive Third-Party Support: In this day and age, third party games have pretty much stolen the spotlight for everyone but Nintendo. However, the time of system exclusivity is rapidly coming to an end, as greater profits are to be reaped from multiple console releases. However, the tradition of exclusivity still exists, and is still very important. Here we go:

1. Microsoft
Microsoft almost has a monopoly on third-party support (considering this is a CONSOLE war, thus making PC not count as another system). The buzziest of buzz-worthy games all seem to appear solely on the Xbox 360, from BioShock to Mass Effect to exclusive downloadable content in GTA IV. I doubt that MS can hold onto this for long, though, given the rise in porting.

2. Sony
Sony's biggest games have always been exclusive third-party releases, but at the moment...nothing really jumps out at me. However, the near future holds great promise for the PS3, as Metal Gear Solid 4 and the next installment of Final Fantasy are sure to be system-sellers. This generation has not been kind to Sony, though, and the vast majority of its former exclusives have now gone completely multi-console (GTA, Devil May Cry, etc).

3. Nintendo
As always, though perhaps even worse than ever now, Nintendo's third-party support is laughable. It is probably the Wii's biggest problem right now. Can this stop its momentum? Probably not, since it hasn't done that before, but this is definitely Nintendo's biggest weakness.

Online Functionality/Additional Features:
Ever since last generation, people have been buying not merely game systems, but entire home entertainment devices. Now, it could be a deciding factor for some. Let's see here:

1. Sony
While the differences between the actual online services of MS and Sony are largely superficial, Sony wins out for the spread of features, with everything from the practical to the ridiculous (I'm looking at you, Home). Also, when it comes to watching movies, Sony won out by backing Blu-ray.

2. Microsoft
Xbox Live is as solid and easy to use as it always was, and now MS has some new tricks up its sleeve to enhance the entertainment-center-ness of its system. The XLA is great for shining spotlights on independent developers (such as a company you may have heard of called The Behemoth), and the Xbox-PC link-up system is quite useful. However, Sony beats MS out in sheer number of features, plus Microsoft picked the wrong format.

3. Nintendo
Online support. Nintendo's second-biggest problem. They're working on it, finally, but they're still generations behind the other two companies. In addition, the Wii's extra features are much less useful and much less cohesive than those on the other two systems. Yeah, the Miis are cute, but...c'mon. What the Wii does have going for it, though, is a fully functional Web browser and a little thing called the Virtual Console (fanboy note: greatest fucking feature of all time).

Well, there you have it. While a little opinion seeps into that last one, I gave the win to the company I personally like the least, so I figure it balances out. Anyway, to reiterate; the current standings:

1. Nintendo
2. Microsoft
3. Sony

That is not disputable. Nintendo's won the first battle...but they have a long way to go to win the war."

Now please...shut the hell up.

Updated: 06/15/08 2:38 PM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

23 Comments

Apr. 19, 2008 | 7:28 AM kisame says:

thank you so much for making this.


Apr. 23, 2008 | 9:30 PM n64kid says:

How did you rank them as
1. Nintendo
2. Microsoft
3. Sony

360 beat out the wii in two categories, tied in one, and lost in something that means almost nothing and that's sales.
Adding up the rankings, you'd associate higher rank as bad.

Microsoft should win with 2+1+1+2=6
Nintendo with 1+1+3+3=8
and Sony ties Nintendo with 3+2+2+1=8

Apr. 25, 2008 | 10:13 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Actually, sales is the ONLY factor that matters AT ALL. You would know that if you actually read what I wrote instead of skipping to look at the rankings. Sales and sales alone determine the winner of the Console War. Everything else is just various indicators for possible future trends, but the current, FACTUAL (not MY rankings) rankings in the Console War are exactly as I stated them. 1: Nintendo, 2: Microsoft, 3: Sony.

The other factors are all things that eventually lead to fluctuations in sales. So basically, my logical prediction is that, because as you noted, Nintendo doesn't exactly have the fullest list of features compared to the other two consoles, the war will definitely get closer. I'm not so sure if the actual rankings will change, though, given how big a lead Nintendo has, and the fact that the Wii is only gaining sales momentum.

Updated: Apr. 25, 2008, 10:14 PM

Apr. 27, 2008 | 10:42 AM ebyam07 says:

Remember me? I'm the sarcasm guy, and I think Sony RULES!!!!

Apr. 28, 2008 | 8:27 PM Dr-Worm responds:

No one cares. If you actually read what I wrote, you'd see that very little of what I said is opinion. It doesn't matter who I think "RULES!!!!" (for the record, Nintendo as a company and 360 as a console), it's only the facts that matter.

Also, see below...


Apr. 27, 2008 | 10:12 PM Cubone says:

Are you a real docter?

Apr. 28, 2008 | 8:27 PM Dr-Worm responds:

No, but I am a real worm, I am an actual worm.


Apr. 27, 2008 | 10:39 PM LTmatt says:

go kill yourself, faggot

Apr. 28, 2008 | 8:24 PM Dr-Worm responds:

This goes for ebyam07 as well: Learn how to read. If you did, maybe you wouldn't sound like morons when you try to (weakly) argue with facts...facts that you probably didn't read in the first place, just skipping to the bottom and going "N1ntendo LOLZ GHEY." I don't take subjective sides in this silly little "war," I just made this post to end the arguing with cold, hard, logical truth. If you can't handle it, then you're nothing but a pathetic fanboy, a drooling slave to corporate marketing.

If you want to actually read what I wrote and legitimately argue a point I made, then that's a-okay.


Apr. 28, 2008 | 9:41 PM Jesuslizard says:

Why can;t we all just be freinds?
besides all the systems are equill in my eyes...exept xbox.

Apr. 28, 2008 | 10:01 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Sigh, you didn't read it either, did you?


May. 4, 2008 | 3:18 AM ParadoxVoid says:

It seems I might be the only person who has read this... I have to say, very good points made, and I totally agree with you with your standings at the end. Though Sony may be looking up, with the whole Blu-Ray thing. Maybe enough to shove MS down a place.
Doesn't look like anything will halt Nintendo's progress though, they still suffer from system shortages...

May. 4, 2008 | 2:47 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Thank you for reading:

Thing is, they're not really my standings. Those are the current rankings in sales, though I do predict that those rankings will be the same at the end of this generation. I doubt that anything is going to stop Nintendo now (even the shortages will cause an explosion in sales once they get their act together), though the race between Microsoft and Sony is much closer.

I'm not sure how big a factor Blu-Ray is going to make, however. It depends on how soon the format stops being "next-gen" and starts being "standard," and it depends on price fluctuations for Blu-Ray players. I mean, I don't have a Blu-Ray player and I'm not exactly suffering.

The only way I see Sony truly trumping Microsoft is if:

A: They ramp up the exclusives. You can make as many frivolous Second-Life-esque online interfaces as you want, but ultimately, games sell consoles.

And B: they wrestle with the full power potential of their machine and emerge just steps away from the Uncanny Valley. While graphics are far from the first thing that I look for in video games, but you'd be surprised for how many gamers they are.


May. 5, 2008 | 5:20 PM CapnCrunchDaPimp says:

I agree, this fighting is ridiculous.


May. 17, 2008 | 3:40 PM Jesuslizard says:

I did to read it.


May. 27, 2008 | 6:16 PM Thegluestickman says:

I believe if Nintendo can get online right, and and a good looking engine that easy to devolp with, it'll dominate. Microsoft and Sony will fail. But for now they're still ahead with sales.


May. 27, 2008 | 10:00 PM knightsofthecircle says:

Although I agree with what you have to say, and that you've basically explained most of the things I was going to question, all I have to say now is it doesn't matter what anyone thinks which console is better but you.

Fuck the fanboys and companies that tell you otherwise, because in the end, isn't the most important opinion your own?

May. 28, 2008 | 11:14 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Exactly. Why can't more people realize that I'm God and my word is law?

Seriously, though, I think that conclusions derived from large amounts of logical facts can practically be considered factual themselves, depending on the circumstances. For example: evolution. And besides, I never said anything about which console is "better." That will always be completely up to opinion and personal preference. I'm just saying who is winning (fact) and who is likely to win (logical, objective opinion) the war.


May. 27, 2008 | 10:10 PM agustana says:

Nice pussy.

May. 28, 2008 | 11:10 PM Dr-Worm responds:

O I C WAT U DID THAR.


Jun. 3, 2008 | 1:24 AM vgthing says:

Cool. What you wrote is just great. I have been a Nintendo fan from day one, and people always say: Oh, Nintendo's gay or stupid or worthless etc. THEY CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH! However, even though I like the Wii and all doesn't mean I don't have respect for the other consoles, because I do. Unlike some people who find one console they like and label all others as stupid or lame, I try to be accepting of the Xbox and Ps3. The other systems are fun, I just like Nintendo the best, thats all.


Jun. 3, 2008 | 5:36 AM DestroyedPencil says:

Hey Dr-Worm,

I heard that Microsoft was the best selling. I also think I heard that Nintendo Wii is a little bit behind Microsoft. So coming 1st is, Microsoft and coming 2nd is, Nintendo Wii. But I don't know what is coming 3rd.

Jun. 3, 2008 | 5:10 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Well, you heard wrong. As of now (according to Wikipedia, as of late March for Wii and late April for the other two), the sales of the three current-gen consoles worldwide are as follows:

1. Wii- 24.35 million units
2. Xbox 360- 19 million units
3. PlayStation 3- 13 million units

And the Wii's lead is probably even bigger, since those statistics are old and Wii sales have only continued to go up almost exponentially since then.


Jun. 8, 2008 | 1:20 AM slackerzac says:

It all just comes down to one's own personal taste really. I went with the PS3, owning all of the next-gen consuls would be nice but the PS3 is the one I wanted the most. There, thats my two cents.

Jun. 8, 2008 | 1:19 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Yes, for each person personally, it's all a matter of personal preference. I didn't make this to argue which console is "best," because that's a stupid argument. It's really purely based on opinion, like you said. I made it to argue that the "console war" is an equally stupid argument for the opposite reason. Sales don't lie, and when you're talking about a competition between three pieces of hardware, commodities, sales is the only factor that matters.

I talked about those other factors to make predictions about possible future fluctuations in the sales rankings, but those rankings for the "war" at the end aren't my personal preference. It's fact, and my predictions are based on fact.

TL;DR: "l0lz wihc c0nzul iz b3st" and "omfg cons0l waar" are two completely different things, and neither of them are up for argument.


Jun. 13, 2008 | 2:35 AM Eak says:

I'll leave the door unlocked 'cause I can't hear the doorbell


Jun. 15, 2008 | 3:29 PM H-A-X-O-R-Z says:

I don't get feature wise how Sony won that, I mean, you only really mentioned the BluRay.

eg. The Xbox you can download with Xbox live: Games, Demos, DGC, Arcade games, Strategies and interviews.

Jun. 15, 2008 | 5:24 PM Dr-Worm responds:

I guess it's partially because I kind of felt like throwing a bone to the unwashed Sony fanboy masses who would otherwise cry foul, partially because Blu-Ray may actually be a pretty big deal sales-wise (considering the fact that a PS3 is the cheapest high-end Blu-Ray player available), and partially because (even though I find the Microsoft services to be better) we can't forget that Sony's online services are free of charge.


Jun. 15, 2008 | 6:29 PM DasUberCow says:

Nice. You didnt talk much about the future though. How 360 has reached its limits. But great summary.

Jun. 15, 2008 | 11:39 PM Dr-Worm responds:

Well, I first made this quite some time ago (but I still don't really think it needs updating).

And what do you mean by "reached its limits?" The 360 is still pulling consistent sales numbers, as is the PS3 (although the PS3 probably just had a momentary MGS 4-induced spike, though I doubt it was anything close to the Halo 3 sales explosion).


Jun. 15, 2008 | 10:35 PM Gustavos says:

Nintendo is gaining sales momentum now that I think of it. There's been a slow down on great first party games lately for the Wii, but now that Wiiware has come, and more and more people are seeing the greatness of gaming before they were born/got into gaming, Nintendo's raking in hundreds a day. I think they deserve it.

I just hope they don't spend too much time on Virtual Console and Wiiware. It's great, but I still want some more games featuring Nintendo's all-stars. Nintendo should keep coming out with more good N64 games for Virtual Console as well as the many other classics and simply get back to regular gaming. For N64, they came out with some of the best already (LOZ OoT, Mario 64, Yoshi's Story) and some other great ones, but there are some I haven't played in years and loved like the first three Mario Party games, Mario Tennis, and Donkey Kong 64 which I saw as fun and would enjoy to this day. And of course many other great ones.

But really it's good to see one gaming company, one that supplied most of my childhood, win in sales and (in my opinion) games. I just hope this success doesn't slow them down.

Jun. 15, 2008 | 11:43 PM Dr-Worm responds:

I'm actually hoping that the VC continues to expand its library. The more the youngsters can get into gaming history now, the less likely they'll make the same mistakes our generation did. They'll demand great gameplay experiences instead of pretty graphics and violence. And the exclusion of the Mother trilogy from the VC is nothing short of insulting.

Also, you shouldn't judge Nintendo's potential sales success on the quality of the software alone, per se. We're dealing with a whole different animal here. Most Wii owners will gladly consume shovelware, unfortunately.


Jun. 22, 2008 | 3:23 AM LordJaric says:

yeah people really need to shut up


Sep. 7, 2008 | 1:54 AM sammy123lol says:

Do you perhaps know "They might be giants" ? =D


Oct. 26, 2008 | 4:29 AM jrhager84 says:

For someone who uses the word "fanboi" so flippantly, you seem to be one yourself. You piss and moan about how "ps3 fabois" would "cry foul" etc., yet everything you've ever said is pretty venomous toward the ps3. I own all 3 systems, and the Wii is a dust-collector. Using numbers as a term of superiority is a farce. Numbers don't mean a thing (at least not in the long run). I love how most of your article is slanted towards Nintendo (with a casual 2nd going to Microsoft). I also love how you claim your opinion is not "disputable". You are not the authority. Take your own advice,

-Joel

P.S. you call Opera a "fully-functional browser"? PS3 has added Flash 9 support, and you had to PAY for Opera, and no flash support. So don't say you "threw" ps3 a bone by giving it that. I'm not saying ps3 is a wonderbox, but it definitely isn't as bad as you say it is...

Nov. 1, 2008 | 6:35 PM Dr-Worm responds:

The "console war," as I see it, is an argument over which console will be the most successful in a given generation, and as I've said multiple times in both the post and in my replies, that is completely different from which console is "best." I'm not an idiot. I know that different people have different opinions and different wants and needs in a console, and as such, I'm not trying to make an argument as to which system is "best."

But anyways, the only real way to determine the success or failure of a piece of hardware in competition with other pieces of hardware is to do so in the same way that the consoles' manufacturers themselves do: unit sales. All of those other factors I mentioned are just used to inform predictions in sales. In terms of determining which console is the "best," they only speak for my own opinions, but at least they're based on logic as opposed to brand loyalty, which is more than I can say for most of Newgrounds. I never claim that these things are facts, though. The only things that are factual are the final rankings, and they ARE indeed factual. I am not "the authority." but the NPD most certainly is.

Now, concerning my alleged fanboyism. I'll admit that I've always felt a certain nostalgic attachment to Nintendo, but nostalgia by definition concerns itself only with the past. I'm downright disgusted by almost everything Nintendo does these days, though I still feel that this is just them getting a little high on their newfound position of power, so I've still got a little hope in their future. 'Tis no matter, though. Corporations are corporations, and corporations run on dick moves. Few, if any, companies are exempt from that analysis.

But I digress. I own all three consoles as well, and of the three, it's the 360 that's far and away my favorite, the one that I think is "best," and my PS3 is fast gaining on my Wii, which I've also identified numerous times on the VG forum as a "dust-collector." So much for my allegedly blatant Nintendo bias.

Now, as for your statement that "numbers don't mean a thing (at least not in the long run)." I totally agree with you. Sales should never be a factor in determining the success of art, be it a video game, movie, etc...but we're not talking about art here. We're talking about cold, hard commodities, and the only true measure of their success or failure (though of course not necessarily of their quality) is how well they sell, and in those terms, I stand by my post as not just "right," but as fact.

Finally, concerning my "venomous" comments toward the PS3 and my "pissing and moaning." This is just me, but I've found that on this forum, it has been the PS3 loyalists who have been the most vitriolic and the most clearly conveying of severe fanboy tendencies. As such, I was more concerned about receiving incoherent, unnecessarily punitive responses from them than I was about other consoles' fanboys, especially considering that the PS3 is viewed in the worst light of the three here. But anyway, this post was written some time ago, and since then, I've had plenty of new joys and headaches with each console. As a result, my opinions on some of those factors have changed a little bit, but those segments aren't nearly as important as my overarching point here: that we cannot argue who is winning the "war" because the NPD charts can always clearly tell us, and we cannot argue who is "best," because the parameters for such a thing are and should be totally different for each person.

And as a side note, it's sort of odd that you'd call me out for these things, when it seems very apparent where your loyalties lie. But whatever, you were wrong about me, so maybe I'm wrong about you.


Jun. 5, 2009 | 10:47 AM Jackho says:

whats this?
on newgrounds there is.....

A GIANT WUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRMMM??????

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